Choose your battle,enjoy the struggle.

Honestly, by this point I'm thinking I can just write a book summary of Mark Manson's "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck". This book has so many nuggets of truth and every time I read it, I find something new that gets me thinking.

"I was in love with the result...but I wasn't in love with the process" - Mark Manson

And this was a huge breakthrough for me.

Think about it. How many times have you thought about a project or goal you wanted to work on but never really got started, or even if you did get started, it fell through within a few weeks or so, once that initial phase of motivation left you?

I've had it happen to me a lot and now, I understand why. To give you an example, I've thought about learning to code. I liked the idea of being a "coder". But I never really got around to learning it, even though I told myself I'll get to it eventually. And recently, I got inspired and wanted to be a "painter" . This time I actually got out some paper and paints and started painting.

Looking at my initial (pathetic) attempt and comparing it to something I aspired to reach, I realized that it would take a lot of time and effort on my part, and the truth is, I don't think I actually enjoyed it all that much. So even if I told myself to sit and paint daily, trying to improve slowly, I'm sure I'd give it up in awhile. The same goes for coding. I have no idea about it and even if I got started, it would take a long time to learn and even if I did learn...where would I use it? In making my own website? I already have resource to do that for me (and get much better results!).

And here is an exact opposite example: I wanted to learn to play an instrument and the keyboard seemed a good place to start. So I bought myself one and started learning. And you know what's beautiful? It didn't feel like a struggle every time I sat in front of the keyboard and it has been months now! I have derived so much joy in learning to play the songs I like and I enjoy struggling with and finally learning to play a difficult bit. I not only liked the idea of being a "musician" but I actually enjoyed the process of becoming one.

When you enjoy what you do, working hard comes easy.

You have limited time to live and you only grow older and weaker. So think about what you really want. Don't get enticed by the result only to get stuck in the process, not getting anywhere, making life miserable for yourself.

OK,but what if you are in a situation where you do not enjoy the process but have to reach the goal?

First be sure if you actually have to reach the goal, is there an alternative that you would prefer struggling for? if not, we can follow the reverse logic.

Make the process enjoyable. How can you make it easier for yourself, how can you make it more interesting? The goal may be fixed but you can achieve it in any manner you want.

At this stage, the only examples I can think of is having to study for subjects I don't like. So I'll use that.

“There are no boring subjects, only disinterested minds.” ― G.K. Chesterton

I came across this quote recently and it rang so true. People have different interests and what interests some may not interest you. But you can trick your brain into thinking it's interested.

I had organic chemistry in high school and you know what? It turned from a subject I was struggling with and hence starting to hate, into my favorite subject! How did that happen?

Well, we had to read all these reactions and equations and stuff and you know how dry textbooks are. After a few weeks, I got really fed up but then, something amazing happened.

I realized the only reason I didn't like it was because of the way it was presented to me. So I got online and started looking through different resources and you know what? It finally started making sense. There was a logic behind all these reactions and just learning that instead made it easier to derive my own without having to blindly memorize things. And not only that, I changed the goal for myself. Instead of, "study organic chemistry for exam" I changed it to "Learn how to synthesize drugs". I used to take up a simple drug molecule and think how I can end up with the product using the reactions I learnt. Or working in reverse, learning reactions that would help me synthesize that particular drug.

Things became so fun after that, I honestly enjoyed the subject and worked hard without even realizing it! It felt effortless because I was doing something I liked.

And even when learning to play the keyboard, I started out learning chords and scales and reading sheet music and within a few days, I realized, this isn't how I wanted it to go. It was too technical...so I started learning my favorite songs...in the end I learnt the chords, just in a more enjoyable way.

If it is a battle you didn't choose, at least make the struggle seem less of a struggle, or change the goal, keeping the end result the same.

In the end, just remember the words of Mark Manson: (paraphrased)

It is not about willpower or grit, people who enjoy the struggle are the ones who achieve their goals.