Mindfulness

How many of us do things because we've actively thought about it and actually want to do it? Whether it be some form of entertainment or our work.

Have you ever caught yourself coming out of a haze not knowing what you just did? Whether it's reading something without absorbing it or mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds or clicking video after video on YouTube.

Have you ever spent hours doing something that seems to keep you entertained at the moment but then realize wasn't actually worth your time?

"We need to make sure that we're choosing our distractions and our distractions aren't choosing us" - Mark Manson

This really hit home. I started to make it a point that every time I go online in my free time, I know just what it is that I want to do. Of course, I almost always get sidetracked by thumbnails and recommended for yous that catch my eye, so I thought why not time limit myself? I'd allow myself to get distracted but then I'd limit my time... 30 mins to 1 hr max. Because any more than that, it'll just become mindless clicking. If it doesn't, then no problem.

If I'm online for work purposes and something catches my eye, I'd add it to watch later. And when I later go through the list, I'd realize that half of those things weren't what I would want to spend my time on.

Mindfulness also extends to our bodies and energy levels. It's paying attention to what your body is telling you. When your blood sugar is low, you feel hungry, when your blood volume is low, you feel thirsty. Your body knows what it needs- so pay attention to it. Sometimes, when we are in a bad mood or feeling lazy, it might simply be because we are in need of food- or rest. You might find yourself unable to concentrate after lunch. You might find you are most alert at night. You might be a morning person.

Most of us- me included- are not fully aware of this. But I've been trying to be more mindful of this. Trying to pay attention to when I'm feeling alert and when I'm feeling tired, trying to see if there is a pattern. Seeing if my bodily needs correspond to my emotion.

But beyond that too, most of us are not mindful of our thoughts. I'm only just beginning to realize this. Recently I've become more attuned to my thoughts. I feel more aware of myself and my way of reasoning things. We all constantly have thoughts running in our heads and most of it is just white noise, nothing of importance, that's fine but what about in moments of anger- or any negative emotion for that matter- envy, jealousy, pride. The emotions overrule our thinking. Or rather, they dictate our thinking.

Because, now, whenever I'm angry or annoyed with someone, I let my self wonder- what is my part in this? Is there a chance that I'm equally to blame? I let myself think about it and honestly answer it and in most cases, I realize, yes- I could have done things differently. And just that one question changes your thinking. But the hard part for me is taking action on that realization. Admitting something to yourself is different from admitting it to someone else. But at least it's a step further from where I was.

Once you realize that you can be in control of your thoughts, it becomes easier. You start becoming more aware of yourself, what you're thinking. Of course, I'm a far cry from being even moderately good at it but as I said, it's one step more than where I was before and that's all that counts.

When you start being mindful, you discover things about yourself that you didn't know. Some of these might scare you, you might start to doubt yourself and your thoughts but that's the first step of growth, isn't it? You only grow when you realize that there is room to grow, that you're not perfect and you might never be, but you can be better and that's what matters. Don't be too harsh on yourself- you're not alone. Show yourself some love.

So here's a quick summary of what I think:

• Mindfulness means being aware of your thoughts and needs. It means that you're doing something because you want to do it and not, well, mindlessly.

• It is a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

• Being mindful helps you spend your time better and also get to know yourself better.

• Mindfulness increases your productivity as well as the quality of your life.

• All you have to do is stop now and then and observe your thoughts.

• Be honest with yourself. There is no one else to judge you, so why lie to yourself when it is more helpful not to. Question yourself, reflect on your thoughts.